Sometimes music dictates the mood that I'm in. The first song I hear on the radio as I jump into my morning shower or the last song that plays before I turn the car off and walk into work can set my temperament for the rest of my day and guide all the music that I'll choose to listen to thereafter. It's almost guaranteed- If I hear Def Leppard's "Photograph" or Buckcherry's "Lit Up" playing on the radio as I get ready in the morning, it's gonna be a fun day. If I hear "Live & Let Die" then watch out- I'm probably going to be too much happy to handle.
But, if you know me at all, you'll know that sunshine and rainbows Kelli is not always sitting at the front desk waiting to shower you with happy. And on those more common days, like today happens to be, I have to search out the music that fits my mood instead of just letting it find me.
The songs I've garnered today find their place on my "hear her playin' that same old song" playlist. Because, sometimes, no matter how hard you try to make it any different, everything just sucks and you have a "bad day again" (ha- get it? clever, i know). You could try and fight that dejected, broody mood that you're in (and maybe that's what "normal" people are actually supposed to do) or you could do as I do and just embrace it. Listen to sad songs. Feel sorry for yourself. Find lyrics that you identify with and let them trigger that cathartic cry. Then, pick yourself up and get over it. Move on. Wake up the next morning knowing that the radio has the potential to play that one song that can set it all on a different path. That's the beautiful thing about music; it's so powerful, so transcending, so capable of molding and shaping the way you feel into something you can comprehend and handle even when you can't begin to understand it at all.
"Hear Her Playin' That Same Old Song"
A Selection From My Sad Day Playlist
Fuel-- Bad Day
"And she swears there's nothing wrong,
I hear her playing that same old song"
Old and completely overplayed, I got really burnt out on this song when it first came out because it was everywhere for so long, and it got to the point to where it had no effect on me. I've fallen in love with Fuel again recently, though, and bought all their older albums and I've found myself being drawn to "Bad Day" again when my day is just that.
Staind--Take This
"I've always had to see, The brighter side of this so I don't lose my faith"
I think this is the ultimate break-up song. F*Face used to know that when I busted out Staind's Chapter V and skipped to number 10, things were bout to get real bad (or that they actually already were and it was time to start begging for mercy). Even now that I'm living in the land of single ladies, I still crave it when I'm in one of my feel sorry for myself moods.
Eli Young Band-- Guinevere
"She's got a handful of records that she turns to when she needs to land"
Every girl wants a song written just for them. I mean, really, what female doesn't want to be the muse that inspires something like "Wonderful Tonight" or "Layla?" I don't know that it's really a dream to be a guarded/jaded girl like the one in "Guinevere," but the fact that whoever she is had that much of an impact the writer that they had to write a song about her to work it out makes me pretty jealous.
One of the things that draws me to songs is their semblance to my own life, and I can definitely see a reflection of me in this one. I don't have any band stickers on car (anymore), and I'm not sure how desirable of a parade I am to watch (unless you count the shit-show that I can occasionally be-- white girl wasted is pretty amusing to witness, i've heard) but basically everything else in the song reminds me so much of me and my faults. And so I listen, and I feel.
Chasing Layne-- Silence
"and though your words are cold as stone, i'd rather fight with you than go it alone"
Everything superfluous aside, I love the music of the Layne. I don't know if it's because it is actually good or if it is due to the fact that I was so close to it for so long that it's almost a part of me. (I wonder if Pattie still listened to the Beatles after she left George? I need to re-read Wonderful Today and see if she says.) All I'm certain of is that it still hits me hard every time I give in to the urge to listen to it--especially "Silence." It captures the pissed-off stupid girl side of my sadness, and sometimes I just need that.
Alice in Chains-- Nutshell
"And yet I fight this battle all alone"
If I'm upset, this is the song I turn to. Sad, angry, emotionally bereft, whatever the bad feeling may be, this song is what I want & need to hear. Something about it is so painfully soothing, and there is no song in the world that makes me feel the way it does. This version from MTV Unplugged is my favorite version. Listen to it and try not to feel anything.