tour blog 5

This year started out in a whirlwind, with my longest tour yet to the farthest away towns. It was definitely the best leg of my travels thus far. Totally worth all the madness.  

 part 1

January 1
Southgate House Revival
Newport, Kentucky

Gatlinburg. Tompkinsville. Lexington. Newport. Buffalo, new york. All in two days. This year already: thumbs up.

Maybe the coolest stage I've ever seen (Dallas Moore band on the stage. Pa-pow!)

Well hell. Look who's all official with her very own key to the van!

January 2
Sportsman Tavern
Buffalo, New York

Pennsylvania welcomes me. Wish I could capture all these signs.

First view of Buffalo

When in New York, one must eat pizza. (FYI, best pizza I've EVER eaten!) 

When people ask me to sign their shirts along with the rest of the band I really wanna refuse. Like seriously, I just ruined your new shirt.

Oh hey guys, look, you're on the tv screen above you.

The ceiling of a bar bathroom in Buffalo. I seriously question my bathroom picture addiction.

Look at all the snow!! I wanted to run out there and make "angels in the snow." (Get it FOTF fans?? You guys get it?!)

Just ate Buffalo wings in Buffalo- Check that off the list.


January 3
Abilene Bar & Lounge
Rochester, New York

Merch lady is gonna freeze to death before this tour is over #notmadeforthecold

Ingenuity: making your merch table out of your merch tubs. Yup, I go to college.

So. Much. Snow. I love it!! Also, a very cool bar with an Irish bartender I would have married in half a heartbeat.

My first attempt at playing darts. Guess what? I sucked and team "Kelmy" lost. My bad yo.

Two very large humans. And another guy.

January 4
The Barn
Pawlet, Vermont

I'm very a.d.d. with my Vera. I need to pic a pattern and stick to it!

My first time in Vermont! Somebody get me some maple syrup

 (FYI- I did not get said syrup. Disappointment.)

So I started googling "What is (state) known for?" for every state we were in. Vermont apparently is the only state with a capital that has no McDonalds. Knowledge bomb, dropped.

The Barn. Aka a restaurant in the middle of absolute nowhere. Aka no cell phone service. AT ALL.

Cute little piece of wood in the window of the venue.

Not sure if you can make it out, but that is a dancing granny. They were abound that night. 

January 5
Theodores
Springfield, Massachusetts

Biscuit and her tires betrayed us. Which meant so much fun time chilling in Pepboys. Rockstar.

Fifth on the Floor ‏@FifthontheFloor

Our money goes towards van tires. Yours can too. Get FOTF merch at http://www.fifthonthefloor.com/store !

I have the strongest urge to find some hot wheels and drive all up on this rug--Pepboys lobby.

These chicas somehow knew I needed some company and cheering up and facetimed me!

They absolutely made my day. Love my girls!!

Give me crayons and a paper placemat and coloring shall happen.

Adult sized, to compliment my adult-sized lime addiction. I love limes!

January 6
Roundout Music Lounge
Kingston, New York

Back to NY! Yay!!

 Lunch stop in Chatham, NY. AKA, the cutest city in the country!

Sunday morning. In another city, in another bar. #Tourlife

My Google history. Words to ariel song? Why?? I do not know. The rest of these I stand behind, embarrassing as they may be.

Merch girl/photographer/band mama when need be.

I'm going to build my winter home in Chatham, New York.

Precious door.

I wonder if I'm included in this? (I hope not, I actually hate being called Kell)

No editing at all. Love this pic.

Hudson River

Merch tub, guitar cases...and a glass of sangria? Classing it up. @ Rondout Music Lounge

Sunday night view from the merch table

Bryan Adams sing along/dance with @FifthontheFloor in the middle of load out in the road in Kingston, ny. This, my friends, is the life.

...and then I learned what. 'Going ham' went in a bar in NY. Followed by the band actually "going ham" on a really dumb girl. Other key words from the night: f*face, texas roadhouse manager, prairie fire, brian daddy, "lay off the carbs." Good times were had by all. 

tour blog 4

Tour Route

December 12
The Emerald Lounge
Asheville, North Carolina

Back with the band! FotF in Asheville, NC where it's colder than Christmas

  

"I have found the home of the hippies and it is Asheville, NC"

Can't get away from Lexington, even in NC.

"If your bar is playing "smack that" and it is not 2003, I have zero respect for you."

Let's put the merch booth by the door. It's not like it's cold outside or anything.

"She was a good girl before she got with us, now she just breaks hearts." Don't believe a word of that, Asheville

Yacth Club, Asheville NC. Show after-party, night 1. Fun times for sure.

I included this pic because it may be the only pic I have of me on tour. Plus I was bored at the time. And I love my pink hair.

This is what luxury looks like: Sleeping bag in the floor of a shady motel. Living the dream.

December 13
Good Stuff
Marshall, North Carolina




Standing alone outside of a hotel wearing leather leggings doesn't look prostitute-ish at all, right?


As I was looking like a lady of class, loitering in the parking lot and waiting for the guys to come out, I noticed something: cats. Cats everywhere! 

Cats in the bushes.

Cats in the parking spots.

Oh look. More cats.

Mas gatos.

It was at this point that I realized there was an abundance of two things in Asheville: Cats and hippies.

Reading a magazine in the van on the way to the venue and look who I found!

If I don't freeze to death before i leave NC, I'm gonna move to Marshall, become a hippie, change my name to Moon Flower and never straighten my hair again.

The show was in an old church turned into a bar/restaurant.Strange, but it was a beautiful place.

Fifth on the Floor and Jesus (in the stained glass). Aaaaaa-men.

PBR on a church bench? This feels wrong. Throw in leather pants and leopard shoes...J man was probably thrilled with me that night.

Two birds with one stone: Creepy bathroom pic + show flier pic. Success.

Add van driver to my resume.

December 14
Capones
Johnson City, Tennessee

Just doing typical rockstar stuff, watching Wreck it Ralph with the band. 

Johnson City (f*ck) Tennessee. I can't say it without the expletive.

The white piping on my boots glows in the black light! Highlight of my day.

Cool bar, cool people. Cool van driver named Kelli.

Ramble On--Songs About Rain

As I lie in my bed and listen to the rain bouncing off of the roof, I can't sleep. Too many thoughts in my head about what the future holds, too many don't forgets and what ifs. So I turn to music to lull me to sleep. If you're restless tonight, too, push play and close your eyes. Maybe we'll meet in our dreams.


Ron Pope-- A Drop in the Ocean



"I don't want to waste the weekend, If you don't love me, pretend."

This song. Simply beautiful. So much emotion.

Creed--Rain



"A thousand times before, I've wondered if there's something more"

(I really hope some of my FOTF boys see this one--finally I get to make my Creed joke! Haha. But seriously, I'm so proud of y'all. May the power of Creed's past take you far 😉)

This may be my favorite Creed song. Love the lyrics. And, of course, Mark Tremonti.

James Blunt--Tears and Rain



Dorian Gray reference. Enough to impress me. Plus, it's a really good song. I'm not the biggest James Blunt fan, but I really enjoy this song.

Jon Heintz-- Rain



I'd never heard of Jon Heintz until i found this song, but it mesmerized me. It is so sad, but there is a melancholy beauty to it that's inescapable.

Led Zeppelin--The Rain Song



Jimmy Page. Robert Plant. A damn orchestra. If this doesn't sadly serenade you off to sleep, it may be time to hit the Niquil.

Eurythmics -- Here Comes the Rain Again

Saw this song as I was searching for songs about rain and though it doesn't really fit the stripped down, slow sad song theme, I had to include, basically just because it made me remember the fabulous (sarcasm) documentary I watched on Dave Stewart.

The Who--Reign O'er Me



I had to throw this one in here too. Obviously, it's a different kind of rain in the title, but it's still probably my favorite Who song and has been stuck in my head for days.

Ramble On--January 5

My way of discovering new music lately has been from the background stuff bars play between the band's sets at shows. The other night a song hit me right in the face and I've been obsessing over it ever since.

Wilco--One Wing



I've never really listened to Wilco before, but this song just mesmerizes me. It's one of those right song-right time kinda things. And with that, I'm going to hit play on the song one more time.

Ramble On--I don't like girls.

"You don't like girls very much, do you?"

This was asked of me not once but on two separate occasions recently and led me to the realization that I, in fact, do not really like other females.

And not just in the relationship way (real talk: there is no chance I'm ever gonna switch teams in the night. I like beards and manly man-ness way too much...though I suppose girls could possibly be manly as well, but the thought of beardly ladies still just doesn't do it for me. Chances of me going all Katy Perry and proclaiming to the world that I kissed a girl and I liked it ain't happenin.)

In general everyday occasions, given the choice of girl time or hanging out with my guy friends, I'd almost always choose the guy route. Being gossipy, dramatic and all around girlyfied just doesn't appeal to me. Maybe that explains why I spend a good chunk of my time locked up in a van with four guys. I don't necessarily care about most of the man things they talk about. Video games, action movies, general masculine conversation, (because I seriously think they sometimes forget I'm even here in my back bench cave) none of it phases me. It's just more comfortable, more laid back, and easier -- though it may not smell as well as a van full of girls.

Don't get me wrong, I love my girl friends. They mean the world to me and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I'd be lost without the validation I get via group message from my Team Forever Alone. It's just easier, though, to be an offensive, unladylike smartass with no fear of taking what I say too far. Sometimes this sense of humor I'm working with can be a bit much for my good hearted lady friends.

So I guess it makes sense that I usually don't dig music with girl singers. It's rare, especially in rock music, to find a female singer that can not only sing well but additionally sings lyrics that arent straight up stupid and unrelatable. I don't care how gorgeous your hair is, how toned your legs are or how big your boobs may be (well other than being extremely jealous, especially that last one). All I care about is the sound of your voice and how much of a badass you are as a vocalist, front lady and songwriter.

Surprisingly, the last few weeks I've stumbled across a few women who excel at all those things. In fact, these girls impress me so much that I might actually be convinced to become a lady-part-loving groupie for the bands.


The Pretty Reckless--Kill Me



Taylor Momsen may have been a Gossip Girl, but chick has real talent. Her bluesy, raspy voice is painfully gorgeous and I could listen to it all day.

In This Moment--Blood



Maria Brink is a badass, plain and simple. I haven't heard a song with a female singer that rocks as much as this one by In This Moment. It's heavy but not so much that it's overwhelming and unlistenable.

Alabama Shakes--Be Mine



This woman is so impressive to me. Brittany Howard's voice has so much soul that it's almost impossible not to feel what she's singing. I adore this Alabama Shakes song, and it's probably my favorite from their new album.

**This is my first post done strictly on my phone, so if things are a little weird I apologize! I'm on the road with the band for a couple of weeks without computer access but still want to post regularly, so this is my best way to still get at ya. The blogger app kinda sucks though so please bear with me as I get used to it!**

People like this make me ashamed to be a blogger

I'm in no way a "professional journalist" (and defining who is is the basis of my thesis, so trust me, I'm quite familiar with the term) but I get so aggravated when people get all pissy with journalists when they publish stories that "make artists look bad." Usually, my initial reaction is that it is not the journalist who interviewed the artist that made them look bad, it's the artists themselves who say the stuff in an interview with someone who's job is to WRITE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT THE PERSON THEY ARE INTERVIEWING SAYS. One example: Eric Church's rant in Rolling Stone calling out other artists who do tv shows and other ventures outside of making music. I heard so many people say that that's why they hate journalists, because they just want to make people look bad and to get more attention for themselves. Do you remember the writers name? I subscribe to Rolling Stone, I read the article, I couldn't tell you who wrote it. I can tell you that if I was assigned to interview Eric Church, and I asked him a question, and he gave me an answer, and I wrote that answer in a story, it is not me who is making anyone look bad. If he didn't want that published, he shouldn't have said it. He did. He know what he was doing. He knew who he was talking to. He probably was well aware of the attention it would get him. (And I mean, come on, have you seen Almost Famous? Music journalists are "the enemy," "the one guy you don't tell secrets to." Duh.)  The writer did his job. That is all. There is no shame in that. 

But then, there are some people who bring complete disgrace and shame to the title of journalist (or blogger, because, in my opinion, a blogger doing interviews with artists and getting paid to write about them is a journalist).  I hopped up on my soapbox and started writing this after seeing a tweet from Aaron Lewis, calling attention to a woman who had taken it upon herself to accost Lewis after reading what a blogger said pertaining to comments he had made about Carrie Underwood at a concert. 

Here are the comments that Lewis made: 





Then, from those comments, a post was written with this title:

Um, excuse me. Tell me, please, where in that clip did he say that he hated Carrie Underwood? What one single statement did Lewis make that is against Underwood herself?  Because I can't find it. He says nothing about her personally. He clearly says "depicts herself as." Which is completely true! I'd love for anyone to explain it to me any differently.
  


I'm not familiar with the website where this was published. I'm not even going to write the name of it in this post because I don't want to give it anymore attention. I don't know the work of the man who wrote it. I do know that he makes me ashamed to call myself a blogger and a writer. You use headlines that are sensationalized to get people to read your gossip. I understand, your goal was to get readers. That's the purpose for any blog post. And I'll admit freely that this baby blog pales in comparison to what you're doing. But I can honestly say that I'd rather keep doing what I'm doing --without blatantly lying about the artists I write about-- than ever grow to your level as a blogger and fall to your level as a human.   

You just keep trying to be the country Perez Hilton, buddy. Sleep well knowing that you bring shame to others who write to share music and real information and not half-truths and falsities. You're disgusting. Thanks for reminding me of everything I never want to be and what a complete lack of integrity looks like.    

**

Florida Georgia Line- Here's to the Good Times

Here we go again with another review that makes it terribly obvious that I have no right reviewing music. I apologize in advance.
 

Florida Georgia Line's new album, Here's to the Good Times dropped today. I wasn't initially going to even listen to it, and sure as hell had no plans to review it. 

I'll admit, I kinda went all fangirl for Tyler and BK after the first time I saw them as openers for Randy Rogers at Buster's in Lexington and after that, I bought their first single "Cruise." (Proof that being nice and flirting with me, I say with only a little shame, can lead to me buying your music and basically giving up every bit of my musical and personal integrity. Things are usually headed straight downhill when I meet a band after their show and bust out my standard, "Y'all were so good!" Throw in some giggles, a couple 'girls are so stupid and guys aren't much better' smiles, a comment on how cute my accent is, and boom. You might as well open up iTunes yourself and charge the album to my card. You win, I'm a lost cause. My love for long haired and tattooed boys in bands betrays my common sense every time.) 

My first FGL experience

I really liked them that night.
 A decision clearly influenced by no outside factors. 

 
With as much hype as the new album is getting already, I figured it would be played to death on the radio soon enough, so there was no need to rush and listen to the new stuff today. But then one of my favorite little country music fans tweeted me (from the FGL album release party, cause she's that cool!) that "Here's to the Good Times" was really good, so I decided to give it a chance.  (Ok, first she sent me a picture of Tyler, who we both are more than a little in love with. But then she told me the album was good.) While I was listening, I decided I might as well write about it. Not like I was really gonna do anything worthwhile today anyway.


So I started listening.  And things went from good to ok to "I have made a huge mistake" in a very sudden, very unexpected chain of events.

Let me just take a moment to step back and explain the situation. Before I buy any album, I stream it in Spotify. Here I am, sitting at the kitchen table, already a little irritated with myself because I'd decided to write a post about FGL instead of finishing the post about Mona, a band that I have no shame in admitting I love, that I started yesterday. 

So, I started listening to the album and writing this post, marking the songs I liked and wanted to mention as I wrote the intro to the review. I was mostly enjoying what I heard. The album started out with the first single "Cruise," a song I already liked. I hadn't heard "Round Here" but enjoyed it after my first listen, same way with  "Get Your Shine On" and "Here's to the Good Times." 

A bit of graphic assistance to help you follow this story.

But then, everything changed. "It'z Just What We Do" ended and I was in the middle of typing a rant about how adults purposely spelling words the wrong way isn't cute. Ever. And FGL do it twice on this album. I was ready for that to be my biggest complaint about the whole damn thing. But then I noticed I was singing along to the song that came on next. And I knew it wasn't a FGL song, because I'd only really heard "Cruise" enough to know all the words. It was a cover song, but who were they covering? I couldn't think of the original song. So, I did what I always do in a moment of confusion, and turned to Google and typed in the first words of the song.

 

O.M.F'in.G.

Hold on.

Time out.

What. The. Hell.

That's a mother f'ing Black Stone Cherry song.


 It would have been much easier to convey my reaction to what the Google showed me if there had been some sort of hidden camera filming me. Maybe you're lucky you didn't have to see it. There was yelling. There was anger. There was disgust. There was a maelstrom of emotions. Mostly, there was shame. I did know that song. That was a Black Stone Cherry song. And I knew every damn word and was home alone and loudly busting it out like I loved it.

If you know me at all, you know I have completely senseless issues with BSC. Issues that boil down to one thing: I'm a jealous little biatch. Usually, I can avoid dealing with these feelings for the most part by just ignoring that they exist. Imagine my surprise when I was just going about my business (listening to a country album for f's sake!) and boom. There they are, tricking me into liking their music AGAIN.

Black Stone Cherry-- Stay

    Florida Georgia Line-- Stay

FGL changes it up a little. And it's good. And that's all I can make myself say about that. 

Overall, Here's to the Good Times is a pretty solid album. If you like modern country, you probably won't be able to find too much wrong with it. It's full of that typical "we love drinking and being country" songs that go over so well these days. It's just like the way I felt about the Dustin Lynch album: Is it the kind of music that I love? No, not really. Is is life changing, earth shaking, big as the Beatles kinda stuff? No. But it's pretty good. Worth buying if you need some fun new music. 

(Also, Tyler, if you read this, I'm still more than a little in love with you. I can overlook the BSC stuff if you just wanna run off and get married or whatever. Bethany, I'll consider sharing!)  

My top picks from Here's to the Good Times :



Florida Georgia Line-- Get Your Shine On 

Florida Georgia Line-- Round Here

(terrible quality video, but the best I could find)

Florida Georgia Line-- Tell Me How You Like It

I'm going to go now and listen to only Metallica and Alice in Chains for the rest of the night so I can feel better about myself.....

tour blog 3

November 30
V Club
Huntington, West Virginia

Awesome and huge poster on the side of the venue.

Smaller version that you can actually read.

Merch, merch, merch

Old man boyfriend on the hook. He brought me pumpkin donuts. All the way from Ohio. #bestjobever 

Pumpkin donuts from Circleville, Ohio. O. M. F'n G. These are going to make me morbidly obese. Happy, but morbidly obese.

Van Lear Black

Seriously, I get paid to do this?!

Matt Woods-- Loved him!

New selling tactic: Leave the jeans and boots at home, try heels and leather leggings instead. Tactic didn't really work, but I do love my hooker shoes and I have missed them oh-so-much.

Fifth on the Floor

It's hard to read, but this was painted on the wall outside the bar. It's the Hunter S. Thompson quote "Buy the ticket, take the ride"

December 1
Zazoo's
Louisville, Kentucky

Owl-Hoot Scoot, y'all. Love the name.

Tequila shots. At 330. Wearing a dress. This night is headed in a glorious direction. Come see for yourself at Zazoos in Louisville! 3:23 PM - 1 Dec 12

Kyle James Hauser. His songs put me to sleep. But in a good way.

Those Crosstown Rivals

Slithering Beast

 If you're a guy and you drink your drinks from the bar through a straw, i judge you and assume you are a weak girly man. - 1:26 AM - 2 Dec 12

Fifth on the Floor

500 Miles to Memphis

One of the most frequent questions people ask me now (replacing the ever popular "How's your thesis coming along?")  is "Are you still liking working with the band?" Maybe this alludes to my tendency to get bored with things quickly. Maybe people just think that this is something that should only be temporarily fun, therefore I should be tired of it. But I'm not. Not at all. I will admit, I had doubts about it for the first time on Saturday night. People weren't buying anything. I was ridiculously sleepy. Even more than I was sleepy, I was bored. It was a festival-style show, which meant it was a long night. We got to the bar six whole hours before FOTF played, and all that downtime really wore on me. Plus, it can get really lonely sitting at a merch table all by yourself. It's one of those "alone in a room full of people" kinda things. There were tons of people around, but I knew none of them and they had no interest in what I was selling. I didn't even have room to have a chair to sit in at my table, so I had to rotate out sitting on the edge of the table and sitting on my merch totes. (Ever sat on a tote while wearing an entirely too short dress? Not comfy. Nor attractive, btw.) 

After about two hours of this, I had banned myself from twitter after over-tweeted like a mother, then subsequently banned myself from texting because everyone was irritating me by either their over-eagerness to suddenly chat or complete lack thereof, and finally banned myself from fb after doing my best at trying to creep on new boys that seemed incredibly interesting and I decided I wanted to meet...as soon as I was able to leave the three-foot radius of merch table. I was bored. I was TERRIBLE at my job. And I was super lonely in every sense of the word. I convinced myself that I needed to quit this silliness, for the sake of the band, because I sucked big time. 

But, FOTF's turn finally came for them to take the stage, a friend who lives in Louisville came to see me and kept me company for a while, and then the final band played and people were actually buying things from me. Not a lot of things, but still, some money was made. I met fun new people I wanted to meet and a really big dog with an awesome name, and had a great time.

So, going back to where I started with this- Am I still enjoying it? Hell yeah I am. This is what I have wanted for so long. It's not without some issues, but what job is?  I'm still getting to travel and see live music in venues I've never been to and probably never would have otherwise. And I get to do all this with a pretty cool group of guys who don't openly hate me, despite my lack of selling abilities. 

I jokingly told someone last night that I was the coolest girl they knew. He surprisingly told me in response that that was probably true. That made step back and think, and take it all in. I don't know how "cool" I really am, but I do know that I'm really happy with whatever level it is. I like good music. I read good books. I dyed part of my hair pink, quit my real job, and ran off with a band as a merch girl. I mean, really. I NEVER thought I'd actually be at this point. And don't get me wrong, I'm still incredibly insecure and unsure of everything . But overall, cool or not, I actually like me and the decisions I have made, at least for the moment.