tour blog 7

This was easily one of the best weekends I have had with the band. It was a short run, with just two shows, but both were at awesome venues with great people each night. Too much fun was had for sure, but it was amazing.  

January 18
Tootle's Pumpkin Inn
Circleville, Ohio


This was my second trip to Tootle's with the band, and I was so excited to be back there because I love that place. Seriously, on my list of favorite bars, Tootle's is near the top. Super cool place, super cool people.

 

Turns out bourbon has 0 carbs. So there's that...

( just as an fyi, the italicized things that i randomly throw in here are my tweets i've posted--i swear, reading my tweets is how i remember many nights...technology: pa-pow.)

 

I didn't wear this hoochie skirt for nothing. Somebody come buy some @FifthontheFloor merch from me! #tootles #circlevilleohio

Git amongst it.

Beatles, what are you looking at?

Edible Fifth on the Floor on a giant doughnut. Umm tasty.

Caught ya Parsons.

 This is why this place is one of my favorite bars I've been to with the band. That donut is low carb, right?
Ank God.

Dear Jesus aint the word for it. You know any Candlebox?

January 19
The Machine Shop
Flint, Michigan 

This was the most excited I have been to go to any venue thus far in my touring adventures. I had heard a lot about The Machine Shop- so many bands that I love have played there, and it has always been on my list of places I wanted to go with a band. I was literally a giddy little girl all the way there (well, as giddy as it is possible to be after spending six hours in a van, tempted by the smell of delicious evil giant carb-filled doughnut five inches from my face).     

I think I have a problem.

 Back story to this picture/caption: I have an addiction to stealing trucker hats. I cannot control myself. I apologize to anyone who has been hurt or lost a hat to my thieving ways. If it makes it any better, I don't even know how I got this one. I just unzipped my backpack Saturday morning and, like a Christmas morning surprise, my new hat was there and waiting to be worn. So wear it I did. Even though Justin called me Fred Durst and even though the locals of Circleville judged me hard core. I guess they don't usually have hot messes running around in hoochie heels, leather leggings, trucker hats and wayfarers. And for that I am sorry for them. Anddd for myself also for being that mess.

And then I wore this in public and I was not ashamed

I love playing the lottery as I enjoy my meal. Thanks Ohio!

That is the doughnut, smelling up Kelli's back bench cave. It was a cruel torture as we drove six hours and I wanted to eat the entire thing, but instead ate Atkins bars. Not as good as doughnut, btw.

The mission of Ohio: Paint murals on every wall.

 

And now I know who Ted Lewis is. 

"Ted Lewis was an American entertainer, bandleader, singer, and musician. He led a band presenting a combination of jazz, hokey comedy, and schmaltzy sentimentality that was a hit with the American public." -- Thank you, Wikipedia.

And then we found a screw in the NEW tire and I got to chill in another Pepboys. Sadly, this one had no street map rug or free coffee. I'm writing a complaint letter as we speak.

!!!!!!

This is one of my ridiculous dreams come true. Merch girling at the Machine Shop in Flint. Most legit thing I have done yet!

Ok, I couldn't get a better picture because there were sooooo many people and I couldn't back up far enough to get it all in. But, for the very first time, I had a legit merch set up. Like I got to stand behind a counter and hang my shirts on the wall. It was so cool! I finally felt like a real merch person.Which is probably really confusing for you, as normal sane people.

And I know, it is really hard for most of you all to understand why I do what I do, and beyond that, why I enjoy it so much. To quote an actual post that was made on my Facebook page (by someone who I know loves me and was just concerned with my strange detour from my perfectly, meticulously planned little life): "KELLI! What are you doing?"

The answer to that question is totally easy: I don't have a freakin' clue.

I know the things I should be doing at this point in my life. Let's be real- homegirl is getting old. It seems like everyday another friend of mine is popping out a baby, showing me their gorgeous engagement ring, or walking down the aisle. And I am so happy for them. I really am. Honestly, I'm really jealous of them. As a 25 year old girl, I am realizing that I am quickly reaching my prime and the way things are looking now, I'm gonna cruise right past prime, leaving my trophy rockstar wife plans in the dust and replacing them with the hopes of transitioning into a semi-attractive cougar.  Which is not appealing to me at all because "must be older than me" is one of the four main items on the "qualities that must be present for me to date you" list.

So, as a logical person would do, you ask, "Kelli, why don't you just get a real job grown-up job, buy a house, stay in one city for long enough to meet and subsequently talk/date/marry/etc. them? Get that white picket fence and a puppy and go to work from 9-5 everyday and be normal!"

The answer: I can't. Because that would be easy. And easy is boring. And I HATE boring.  

My entire life, I've done the right thing, the thing that I was supposed to do. The safe and boring thing (with one exception, and even in that straying from sanity, most of what I was trying to do was save someone who had no desire to be saved and be made into something safe and boring). And where did that "right" path get me? Miserable. I was so so so unhappy, and I desperately needed more.

So when the chance to do this merch job came about, the timing was too perfect to turn it down. It was terrifying. It was the most terrifying thing I have ever done. But it has been the most rewarding growing experience of my entire life. It is about way more than just selling a tshirt or cd. I'm traveling across the country. I'm meeting fascinating people. I'm listening to live music every night. I'm learning about the music business. I am so unbelievably poor and I do miss my impulse shopping sprees. But as silly as it sounds, I feel like I'm really living my life. And that is worth the sacrifice.

So, when I tweet or facebook things like this: "Y'all. I am selling merch at The Machine Shop. Definitely having a moment right now." I know you probably don't understand. And that's ok. Just know that I am happy.    

 

If it was like this every night, I'd never quit. I'm so in love with this. #happymerchgirl

Fifth on the Floor with Rachel Brooke singing "Wine"

Smh.

Doing my own vandalism.

Part of my job is recruiting men to model FOTF  merch. Ok, not really but I may do that now. I've got a good start with this one.  It's blurry on account of all the preciousness.  

 And it worsens. Machine shop hoodie though! Kelli for the win. @ Inside of Biscuit

 

Best part of my job? Maybe. #confidencebooster #feedmyego

So I guess I don't have to worry about the whole forever alone thing anymore. Facebook proposal....I'll take it.