Monday, November 1, 2010

"i want it all...

i don't care what it takes."

i started "burning bright" for one purpose only: not for it to ever be read by anyone, but simply as a placeholder for the cathartic effects that i get from writing, and in this case, journaling. in the process of spewing out all those things i was feeling inside, i almost inadvertently found a new purpose for the blog as a home for reviews that i wrote about shows that could eventually (hopefully) serve as a springboard for me, straight into Rolling Stone. ok, i knew that was a bit of a stretch, but really i wanted it to be sort of an online portfolio that showcased what i was capable of. as school overtook my life this semester, though, i found that i just wasn't ready to dedicate the time to search out an outlet that would assign me to go to local shows and cover them. so "burning bright" faded only to glow, and a dim one at that. 

now, i find myself being drawn back to the blog for those same cathartic effects for which i was initially attracted to it. i don't have many readers, and let's be honest, most of those who do read my reviews don't care half as much about the music i am so passionate about as i do. so i believe it is time for a change of pace. i still want to review shows that i go to, and a huge part of me still yearns to do that in a professional capacity (even though "almost famous" scared the beejezus out of me. i just kept thinking to myself, "oh no-- i AM william!" but anyhoo...) i just need to write more frequently, and about more personal things. 

as i was thinking about this desire to blog more, i realized there was something new that i want to start writing about, journalistic standards of objectivity and conflict of interest be damned. my boyfriend is in a band (go ahead, say how lame that statement is. i know, i know. i even said it about myself as i wrote it). i frequently go to shows of said band, thus providing me reviewable show material. they also are at a point where any and all attention and p.r. would be wonderful.  plus, i am so passionate about them, and really think they are good and have a real chance of making it big (go ahead, scream "lame" one more time. it's cool, i'm used to it). them being a serious, professional, signed band would change my life dramatically as well, because basically, all of my dreams would be coming true.

so, my new vision: "burning bright" follows the struggles, the uphill battle, the pain, and the occasional rewards of a local band trying to make it. will i be able to follow this through without getting bored with it and moving on to a new focus? maybe. will it make me happy just to try until i do tire of it? you better believe it. plus, i have no chance of falling into the "almost famous" traps of getting close, then them pulling away and kicking me off the bus. for one, they don't even have a bus. two, all i have to do is threaten the life of my boyfriend, and it's all good. i am already so in love with all of them in their own way (but of course, only in love in the sense of "i wanna marry you and have your babies with one of them. i won't ruin the suspense by telling you which one) and i know that by reading about them and listening to their music, you just might fall in love too.

 

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

buzzfest 2010- A Kick in the Teeth



Buzzfest 2010 ~ Sept 10 2010 ~ Nashville, Tennessee




Buzzfest, the annual outdoor music festival hosted by Nashville's 102.9 The Buzz, returned again September 10 to Music City, bringing with it some of the biggest names in rock to the town known for it's country roots.   


Lesser known bands Janus and Seven Day Binge kicked off the show, but when faced with driving through rainstorms and potentially standing outside in said rainstorms for bands I that didn't pass my "instant fan test" when I sampled their music online, I chose to skip out on their sets. Sick Puppies was a band I hadn't seen before but enjoyed, though, so I made sure to get to the stadium (well, technically outside of the stadium where the main stage was set up) just in time for their part of the show to start, but still rockin' the rain boots, just in case.

Sick Puppies put on a good show, playing the songs that had made them popular, but many of the songs were unfamiliar to me, and just didn't draw me in. (And, for the purpose of full disclosure, at the beginning of Sick Puppies set, Shinedown was in the autograph tent, so i'll honestly admit that I listened and watched from a distance as I nervously planned to finally get a picture with my favorite band ever, only to realize once I got to them that no pics were allowed, as usual. But, I think my addiction to their shows and my name dropping boyfriend finally made an impression on their memory, and Eric, Zach, Barry and Brent FINALLY recognized us. At least Eric did, because he said "Nice to see you guys again." If that ain't proof, then i don't know what is.) Back to the point, though: Overall, Sick Puppies put on a good show and were great musicians, especially with the awesome girl bass player, but they would have been much more appreciated later in the day.    

Next up on the stage was Drowning Pool. This was the point in the day where the entire feel of the show changed. Excitement levels went up (right along side many people's drunken levels) and the crowd started to pack closer and closer to the stage. The combination of all these elements led to one of the first big blood-shedding fights of the day, and once that happens, you know a real rock show is about to begin.


After resurfacing a few years ago from relative obscurity with the release of "Full Circle," Drowning Pool brought a strong mix of their new jams along with the older ones that put them on the map. The audience loved every second of their latest single "Feel Like I Do," and also "37 Stitches," but the real reaction came as they finally played the one song we all had been waiting for: "Bodies." Hands shot to the air as they counted down the "nothing wrong with me's" and "something's got to give's" and collectively screamed the chorus to the song. As their set closed, the crowd was pumped up and ready for the rest of the lineup.       





As the sun started its decent down through the Nashville skyline, the stage lit up as Papa Roach kicked off their set. By this point, the crowd was just a lit up as the stage (but what else would you expect when a beer brand is the sponsor of a show?) and that was just the energy that was perfect for Papa Roach to feed off of.  They didn't play a bad song. Hit after hit, the new residents of Indie label Eleven Seven Music only played one song that the fans didn't know all the words to, but it was obvious that"Burn," off their newly released "Time for Annihilation" is destined to join the ranks of "Scars" and "Getting Away with Murder."
Frontman Jacoby Shaddix is widely known for his vocal abilities and front-man abilities, but the rest of the band really had a chance to show off during an extended intro into "Forever," proving that they were more than just a band with a good singer- they're an all around awesome band, with a live show that grabs you and doesn't let go.

By the time that Papa Roach had left the stage after a set cut short because of thunderstorm chances for the area, on and off sprinkles left the audience damp from the rain and sweat from the day's unexpected heat (remember, i was wearing rain boots--rubber rain boots.  rubber rain boots+no real rain+pretty outrageous heat= a slightly perturbed kelli with really hot feet. not so pleasant.) But, Seether was next on the list, so there was not time for whining, sitting, or even a much needed pee-break. I had made my way to the very front and not-quite center, so I was there to stay.



I must admit, I was a little weary of the Seether show. The last time I had seen them, it was right after the death of singer Shaun Morgan's brother. That show's mood was somber to say the least, still amazing, but Morgan had no interaction with the audience. He just sang the songs (really, really well!) and that was it. From the time the South African band took the stage, though, the feeling was different. Morgan conversated (i think i just made that word up, but i like it, so i'll keep it) with the audience, smiling and enjoying himself and, oh yeah, rocking out, too.



They plowed through favorites like "Fine Again" and their version of "Careless Whisper." We were even treated to a sneak preview of a new song from their soon to be released follow up to 2009's "Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces." A really beautiful part of their set came as Dale Stewart traded his bass for a guitar did a acoustic version of "Broken" with Morgan. Literally every voice in the audience sang along as they played a few verses.




Under a sky that had darkened from both clouds and the fading sun, the audience knew that after Seether left the stage, headliners Shinedown would soon be taking hold of the reins for the rest of the night (horse reference...the world equestrian games coming to lexington this week must be getting to me).





As you know if you've read any of my other blogs or know me at all, this was not my first Shinedown rodeo (horses? again!? ugghh!!). I had seen them about a month before at the Carnival of Madness, along side Sevendust, Chevelle, etc. I've seen them a couple other times for their Sound of Madness tour as well, so to say that I basically have the set memorized is an understatement.
 I was slightly disappointed with the set up time that it took. I don't know exactly how long it took, I didn't time it though I wish I would have, but it was slightly exorbitant. The crowd got irritated and even began throwing bottles and cans onto the stage, yelling and just becoming unruly. Eventually, the white sheet was raised up and 99 problems blasted over the speakers, and I (thanks to my extensive Shinedown experience) knew that the show was about to start.           



This set was basically the same as the Carnival of Madness (which varied only slightly from Sound of Madness, but I'm not complaining. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Plus, how different can you make the show with no new album?) Brent, who in case you live under a rock or are just not as obsessed as i am is the singer of Shinedown, did the whole "look to the left and to the right of you, make friends, we're the only people in the world who matter right now" and before "If You Only Knew" gave his little speech about how women are the most beautiful creatures on Earth. I enjoyed them just as much as the first time I heard them. He also did the whole "rise" element of the show, and for those of you who don't know what that is, I'll let you go to your first Shinedown show and experience that for yourself.  It's pretty sweet :)
The rest of the show was amazing, as usual, with a mix of songs from all their albums, including an acoustic version of "Simple Man" that is always a winner with the crowd. But, during "Second Chance," my heart broke a little. Now, I am not so obtuse that I believe that every sound that I hear is live during the show, but i really believed that all of Brent's singing was live. But watch the video, specifically around the 16 second mark and see if you catch what I caught.        

video
Overall, though, the show was great. Shinedown puts on the best show of any rock band out today, with some of the best music as well. It is highly unlikely that the people who saw them for the first time aren't big fans now. Shinedown has the power to do that to ya. 

Buzzfest is almost guaranteed to be a great show, every year. With bands like Shinedown, Seether, and Papa Roach you can know that for the cheap ticket price you get an amazing concert. This year was no different--Buzzfest 2010's verdict: Simply Amazing, with scattered sprinkles, rain boots suggested.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

i know the breakdown

tell me again, i'm wide awake now baby...

-Tantric, 9-8-10 @ Bar Lex, Lexington. Kentucky-

To preface this blog, i must admit that i do not write as a completely unbiased, objective journalist. But then again, this is just a blog, so who says that I have to follow all those silly rules of "ethical" journalism anyway? Well, I guess I do...because here I am, admitting that I did not view the show in the most professional of manners. But that is actually the best part of the entire thing--more than just getting to see an awesome show that i can't wait to tell you about, I got to experience the entire thing just like i was part of the band (well technically part of the crew, but whatever, close enough). So, because of this compromising of my journalistic integrity, i can write this little review however i want, and say screw you to sounding all professional and such, and i don't even have to capitalize anything! so here goes:

When i told most of my friends i was going to see Tantric, they gave me a look that clearly said, "I don't know who in the world you are talking about, but you look really excited, so that's awesome!" I do admit that not all of them have the amazing taste in music that an aficionado like myself has, but still, i was a little surprised. And you, you reading this, unless you also are awesome or listened to rock radio at all between now and  2001, maybe you're confused too. Let me help ya out.      

Tantric is that band that you have heard on the radio who sing that song that gets stuck in your head that you memorize every word to, but you don't realize it until the next time you hear it. So what's that song for Tantric? Sing along with me now-


"I know the breakdown
Everything is gonna shake now, someday
I know the breakdown
Tell me again am I awake now, baby
You can find the reason that
No one else is living this way
Living this way" 
 
Or just watch the video. They can probably sing it better than my inner mind voice anyway. 

video 

Remember it now? I thought so. Anyway, back to the exciting, objectivity-clouding part, aka the good stuff. My friend had worked for Tantric earlier in the year, and he decided to come visit at the show in Lexington, which was really convenient for me because i live here. So let me break it down for you, or actually for myself, because i honestly just like telling the story! Friend who might as well be "with the band" + kelli who for that night was with the friend = kelli is with the band. This concept isn't so new to me, since i have basically only dated boys in a band since i was a freshman in high school (that sounds bad, it's really just two boys, who were/are in the same band, which probably doesn't make it any better, but whatever). I always love every second of being backstage before the show, side stage or front row for the show, or on stage afterward when they make me carry equipment.

But this, this was different. This was no little local band (chasing layne, you know i love ya still). This was a platinum album-selling, world-touring, certifiable rockstar national act--who have a tour bus! So aside from watching them play, because i honestly really do like their music, i had one other dream for the night: hanging out with the band on the bus.

And my dream came true! Almost as soon as i got there, friend and i climbed up the steep steps of the bus and i shut the surprisingly heavy door, and there i was- living out the daydreams i have been having most of my life and crossing off two things from my bucket list: party with rockstars and get on a tour bus with said rockstars!

I'll keep my tour bus secret happenings to myself (mostly because i'm sure what you are imagining is much more exciting that what actually happened). Plus, i won't lie, it just sounds cooler that way. Here is where i would post pics of this part of the adventure, but taking pictures at the time would have made me felt like an asian tourist/13-year-old fan girl, so i refrained, quite unvillingly. I'll just leave it to you to imagine the awesomeness :)

But, i suppose i should actually talk some about the show, since the purpose of this is to serve as an "unofficial" review of the show, not the mode of transportation the band used to get there. From here on, it is professional real talk, seriously unaffected by my non-hoebagish-semi-groupie-wannabe status, i promise <3 

The band Adema was one of the openers for Tantric, and i knew i had heard of them, and i knew at some point sometime ago i had liked one of their songs...i just couldn't remember what the heck it was. So, thanks to the trusty myspace, i later looked them up and remembered that "Giving In" was the song that made them famous back in 2001. I really like that song so I was mad at myself for not watching their set (as i was busy with other things, like SITTING ON A REAL MOTHER FREAKIN TOUR BUS!), but then the next song came on the myspace music player, and i connected some of the dots of the night.

I did, in fact, see part of their set when friend and I were inside the bar, only i thought they were just a fairly decent local band who had been influenced a little too much by Korn. When I turned to the source of all information that is usually mostly true, wikipedia, to find out when they had actually been relevant, i figured out why Adema's singer sounded like he could have been a brother to Korn frontman Jonathan Davis: it's 'cause he is (well, technically just a half-brother, but it still counts. and an mtv news article confirms the kinship, in case you had any doubt in the wikipedia).

Anyway, the bit i did hear from them left me less than impressed. There are few things that lead me to be as disappointed in a musician than knowing that they are where they are mainly because of daddy (or in this case, brother).  They sounded just like Korn, and the live show just did not draw me in. The drummer was awkward to watch, plus he wore headphone/earmuff things that i just don't respect either. There was probably a big, important reason behind him wearing them, but still. Isn't there a saying that goes something like "if it's too loud, you're too...." well, you know how that one ends. You're in a rock band, hun, and those are not rock.


When Tantric took the stage, a large group had finally gathered in The Roxy at Bar Lex. They kicked the show with a few songs from their latest album, including the title track "Mind Control." The set flowed just like you would expect from a seasoned, experienced rock band. Energy was flowing from the entire group, with singer Hugo Ferreira belting out the songs just like they sound on the cds (which is always a relief when seeing a band for the first time). It was impossible to miss the musical chemistry between him and bassist Erik Leonhardt as he backed up the vocals. And violinist Marcus Ratzenboeck brought that sound that sets Tantric apart in songs like "Down and Out," all the while playing some pretty sick-looking violins.



I always had liked the music of Tantric. "Breakdown" is a really, really good song, and more recent releases like "Coming Undone," "Down and Out" and "Mind Control" have gotten pretty substantial radio play and are really great songs, too. I wasn't really familiar with their older songs, especially those from their first self-titled album. Seeing them live really gave me a much stronger appreciation for them, though. They are a solid band with their own sound that do not get the credit they deserve. Seriously, they should be a lot bigger.



Check out their music on myspace.com/tantric (and make sure you listen to "Mourning," one of my new favorite songs, on Tantric). Download the songs (legally!),  buy a cd, or even better, catch them out live.  It would really be worth your time to finally put a face and a name to that band you keep hearing and loving on the radio.


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Not just a show--this is an event

Something wicked this way came and left a path of destruction big enough to swallow up all of Eastern Kentucky Tuesday night as the Carnival of Madness finally touched down in Pikeville. Featuring five of today's top rock acts managed by InDeGoot Entertainment, 10 Years, Sevendust, Puddle of Mudd, Chevelle and Shinedown came together for the first annual Carnival of Madness, bringing the concert of the summer.

The Carnival was kicked off by the Knoxville-native 10 Years. The lesser known band of the lineup, they drew the crowd in quickly playing their hits like "Beautiful" and "Wasteland" while winning over soon-to-be fans with a lively stage show, complete with an ax-wielding guitarist, and not just his 6-stringed-ax. The never-unmoving Brian Vodinh actually swung a real ax around on stage, even using it as a drumstick to beat a cymbal as they closed out their set. Each band member possessed a frenetic energy that gave the crowd that jolt that it needed to start the night of madness off on the right foot.


Next to rock the room was Sevendust. The rock veterans hit the stage with a sound much different than the band preceding them. Fronted by showman Lajon Witherspoon, Sevendust played with a hard rock attitude and confidence gained from years on the road. Playing hit after hit, the crowd wasn't led to moshing as might have been expected, but front row lips still mouthed every word to songs from the newly released album "Cold Day Memory" and all the way back through classic songs like "Angel's Son" and "Praise." Witherspoon described the Sevendust mentality perfectly as their set approached its close with a simple yet poignant statement: "Whether you love us or hate us, (at which point he dropped the pointing finger he had been holding out and replaced it with a finger more fitting to his second option) you can't ignore us." And this night especially, the band was not ignored. Their stellar stage show full of energy and action, especially from undeniable drummer Morgan Rose, and left the crowd hungry for more.



That hunger was satiated by Puddle of Mudd. As singer Wes Scantlin took the stage, members of the audience, including me, were a bit worried about his state. Rumors from past stops of the Carnival said that he seemed to be less than sober for the performance. As he began the first song, standing unmoving at the microphone, it seemed this show would be no different. As the second song began though, Scantlin seemed to awaken from the frozen daze as he encouraged the audience to hold their hands high in the air and wave their "spirit fingers." As strange as the request was, the audience's obedience was even stranger. Nearly every finger in the crowd began wildly waving with more energy than the cheerleaders in the "Bring It On" movie that made the move famous. He continued to sing the songs that made the band famous, and new fan favorites like "Spaceship," with repeated spirit finger episodes all while dancing around the stage like a 13-year-old girl at a slumber party listening to Justin Bieber. He told the crowd "Let's rock and shit," and that's exactly what Puddle of Mudd did- they rocked, and easily brought one of the more entertaining, or at least more fun, performances of the night.



Chevelle took the warmed up stage next, bringing a show infinitely different from the previous acts. The nearly bare stage setup, with no visible stacks of amps, no flashy banner hanging behind and no frills, could have been a indication of their performance as well. Singer Pete Loeffler sang and played the songs immaculately, but for most of the show stayed fairly stationary at the center stage microphone. The show was still enjoyable, though, as they put their hearts into the songs that everyone could sing along to, especially with "The Red," the song that first gained the band mainstream recognition.



After Chevelle finished their set, the audience anxiously awaited the next act, the reason that many had driven hours and miles to a town in the middle of nowhere with a slightly sketchy reputation. That is the power of Shinedown, though, a band made up of four men who have captured the ears and hearts of millions of fans across the globe. After waiting hours for the doors to open though the heat index was over 100 degrees, then standing more than five hours in an auditorium that did not feel much cooler than outside, the fans knew that soon the sweat and pain would soon be worth it.

Singer Brent Smith’s power to captivate the audience pulled each soul into his every word, blocking out the problems of the world that were left outside. Once Shinedown took the stage, he did just that. The stage set up was their most impressive yet, with a an enormous screen behind them displaying images and videos, Barry Kerch perched on a drum riser that sat him far above the heads of his band mates, and costumes that complemented the carnival theme. Smith even entered the stage with a top hat and cane, signifying his role as ringmaster of the circus that was Madness.



"This isn't just a show, this is an event. We're making memories tonight," Smith told the audience as the air in the room was electrified with the anxious anticipation of the memories they were about to make.

And an event it was. Shinedown is known for their amazing live shows, packed with as much heart and energy as any band. From Smith's dazzling vocals to the powerful drumming of Kerch, mixed with the energy of Zach Myers and his ridiculous guitar skills, and the overall amazing musicianship of Eric Bass on bass, guitar and keyboard, the band captivated the audience, holding them tightly by their hair, unrelentingly refusing to let go until both were left filled to the brim with satisfaction and exhaustion.




Hit after hit, though the crowd was a "hard one," according to Smith, the band gave a performance that did not disappoint, even if the small crowd was a bit of a letdown to them. And proving that they really are a band that understands that without fans, they would be nothing, the guys signed nearly 200 autographs for those willing to buy what was likely their second or third copy of "The Sound of Madness." Surely exhausted and disgusting after sweating on stage for their long set, each of the men smiled, shook hands and scrawled their signatures on cd's and posters for the dedicated fans who stuck around way past 11 pm, treating every person that came through the line like they were the first fans they had ever met.

It's "events" like the Carnival of Madness and that prove that Shinedown and rock are still very much alive and are going nowhere but up.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

i drank pond water for breakfast


ok, i didn't literally scoop a cup of water out of a pond, but honestly the entire experience felt very similar. You see, for breakfast, i decided to try my raw food detox diet's main staple: green lemonade. the book describes it as tasty and healthy (i should have realized trouble was a'brewin right then). all it takes is a head of romain lettuce, 5 stalks of kale, 2 apples, a lemon, and two tablespoons of ginger, which when thrown into the juicer becomes this magical concoction. yes, i can hear what you're saying now: kelli, there is no way that was going to taste good. and in my defense, i will admit that i in no way expected it to taste like a strawberry milkshake. i did not quite believe, though, that it would be as much of a process and overwhelming failure as it was.

i bought a juicer just for the purpose of making this special lemonade. (looking back, bad decision, but i digress.) after i got all the various ingredients, i had to go through the slow process of cramming them down into the little opening of the juicer as it roared away, grinding up the solids and turning them into liquids. i should have taken notice from the very beginning that this was going in a direction that was not gonna be pleasing. (if you see a trend, this entire adventure, or misadventure, actually, was a trail of signs that should have warned me to not even start this process. signs i completely ignored.)

so when i was finally done, i was left with a cup of dark green juice. it was a really pretty color, but would be more appropriate as the shade of a shirt or maybe a pillow, but not the color of "juice." and it smelled like grass. since i am not a cow, horse, or any other grazing animal, i don't happen to be interested in eating grass. this left me with quite a dilemma.

i poured this mix of nastiness into a cup--it was a lot of freakin juice, like an entire gallon! ok, not that much, but seriously, you wouldn't think that lettuce would make that much juice. i was immediately afraid to even taste it. so i added ice (because i figured iced pond water would be more appetizing than hot, right?) and a straw. i can suck down anything with a straw, i thought. i thought wrong.

i make it to my car, on the way to work, and i still have yet to actually taste my "lemonade" (which i refuse to call it anymore, because that is just giving a bad name to the tasty deliciousness that is real lemonade). i get halfway to work before i even touch the straw to my lips. after several painful attempts that made me resemble a three-year-old who doesn't want to eat her broccoli, i finally take a drink. this results in an immediate face that rivals that of any tantrum throwing three-year-old. I do the whole shake my head, stomp my feet, close my eyes (which was dangerous while driving) and mumble random words that resemble yuck and gross and uggghhhhh. it tasted exactly like it looked. and this was only the first drink.

as i continue to stare at my drink, which now resembles pond water more than ever- and not a clean pond that has recently been treated to look more blue, i'm talking a cow-inhabited, nasty old pond complete with all that green filmy moss floating on top. that is exactly what this looks like, and i'm trying to drink it! i tell myself that this cup of crap probably cost $5, and i can not waste that, but every time i try to take a drink, it is a repeat of the bad taste dance.

i manage to drink half of the devil's swamp water by the time i pull into my parking spot. i decide to carry it in with me, just in case i develop a complete loss of smell and taste on the way into the building. this does not occur, and so now i am left with hot pond water that is now corroding to the side of my breakfast cup. moral of the story: if it smells like pond water, looks like pond water, and tastes like pond water, then no amount of ice, straws, or procrastination is gonna make it taste any better. being healthy sounds much better than it tastes :)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

hey, hey, i wanna be a rockstar

For the first time in months, literally months, i am excited about something. I have this bubbling passion and anticipation that i almost can't believe. for so long now, i've felt like i'm just dried up inside, depressed and just sad because i thought i screwed up, and made the wrong decision about life. i thought that coming to uk to get my master's was a huge mistake, that i let myself down and gave up on my dreams. and, in a way that is still true. i should have been more adventurous but it's too late now to change that. anyway, i was afraid that I was stuck with my decision, and doomed to a life of boredom, pursuing my more responsible plan of being a 4-H agent, as opposed to a some version of a rockstar (or at least a normal person with some semblance to a rockstar lifestyle.) As i whined and complained about the misery of my life for the 123,156,315 time at work, J told me the same things that I have said to myself, but never really heard out loud. i can be a 4-H agent for the rest of my life. now is the time that i can actually do something real, something that will make me feel alive. so i'm going to :)

i know i love music. i love shows. the thrill of a rock show is what makes me happiest. yes, i love the thought of 4-h agent-ing, but this is different. i feel so alive watching a band pour their heart's out, seeing the audience feel and react to every note, every drum beat and sing every word. going to shows makes me happy, its something i'm not ready to grow up and give up.

so anyway, when J and I were talking, he said all the things before, but then said "i want you to call [local arts magazine]." i nearly cried like a baby as i informed him that i can not do that, simply because i am terrified. and then i thought, what a completely and totally stupid reason not to follow my dreams.

i mean, its like i have been slowly leading up to this decision for my entire life. i've been a rocker since i sat in the front seat of my daddy's truck, listening to the Stones and Rush and all the other oldies they played on 103.7 and WKDF before it went country . My first real boyfriends: they were both rockstar wannabe's in a band. (granted, they were in the same band, but that's not an important part of the story. and dont' call me a groupie. cause im not- yet. i kid, i kid. groupies are trashy. i'm too classy for that. i wanna be a wife.)

i got a subscription to Rolling Stone & Revolver, and not just to have a magazine to read. I got them because I wanted to study the writing, to subconsciously pick up on the verbiage that those guys use and be able to do that myself. i added journalism as one of my majors (that makes me sound so intelligent, right- "one of my majors." bahahaha.) and graduated, so i guess that makes me qualified to be an official journalist as much as i can be.

so now, i have to actually put all this preparation into action. i need to step up and actually start writing about something that i like, something that i know, something that matters to people like me who love music like i do. but where in the world do i start? and how do i get over the fear that goes along with doing the one thing that i have always been too scared to attempt? and how in the world can i force myself to use capital letters!?! dilemmas, difficult ones at that, but they are just items on my checklist that i have to cross off. i intend to do my first music related blog soon, reviewing the new avenged sevenfold cd. we'll see how that goes, and how it feels to stretch out those writing muscles that have been at rest for quite some time. i can't wait to start this new journey, that will hopefully lead me to the place in life where i want to be: on a dang tour bus, being a rockstar :)