Wednesday, February 20, 2013

tour blog 8

Week 1: From Lexington to Tulsa. 1,356 miles

In what I said was going to be my last trip out on the road with Fifth (key word: said) I packed my bags and hit the road for three long weeks, traveling all the way across the county for some of the most fun and exciting times of my life. I know, I know- I say that every single time I write a tour blog. But this time I really mean it! I got bit even harder by the "wannabe rockstar" bug (if that was possible) and discovered so much new music, and silly as it sounds, figured out a lot about myself and my life. I guess ten thousand hours in a van will do that for ya.

January 30
The Well 
Knoxville, Tennessee

Our first stop was in Knoxville at The Well. I had all new merch to sell, which was super exciting for me, but just a little stressful getting my whole setup re-arranged and re-configured (hashtag merchgirlprobs-- a little twitter humor, everybody! no? doesn't work? ok, moving on).

The Well was a pretty cool venue, and we had good times there and even better times out in Knoxville after the show. It made me really kick myself for not thinking harder about UT for grad school. Though, that would have meant I would probably be a 4-H agent somewhere right now and not a merch girl. Which would also probably mean I would be sleeping my bed in my house every night instead of my sweet angel friend CAT's couch, but anyway. 

On the road again! -- @ The Well

Free Taco Night. At the bar. Oh heck yes.

Merch merch merch!

Fifth on the Floor with Matt Woods singing "The Fall"

January 31
Buccaneer Lounge
Memphis, Tennessee

I know Memphis is one of those cities that, as a music lover, I should have great reverie and love for. But I just can't. I think this may be due to the fact that in my two trips I have made to Memphis, I have yet to see the "good" parts. I haven't done the whole Beale Street/Graceland tourist adventures, so my judgements are weak and probably completely off-base. So, admitting all that ahead of time: I don't like Memphis. The Buccaneer Lounge did nothing to help change this opinion. It was a nice enough place, but yeah. No thanks. I feel no need to return.

Look how legit my merch set up is getting! Two shirt hanger rack thingys, and a can light instead of my Christmas lights!
I was telling someone the other day that one of the best parts of this whole touring merch lady gig is the fact that I can wear pretty much whatever I want and get away with it because i'm a sort of novelty/anomaly. For a few hours a day I get to pretend to be a super cool girl traveling with a band, who can get away with whatever and it's eccentric and edgy instead of just plain weird. (This thinking applies only to shows, though. People are still pretty judging when you walk around a Lowes or Taco Bell in five inch heels and full on hooker makeup at two in the afternoon.) So when I was packing for this tour and I came across my white pants, I threw my southern lady fashion rules aside and said "screw you" to the no white pants after Labor Day rule. --side note: I lost this black shirt somewhere in between the Memphis show and returning back to Lexington. I think I can remember washing it in maybe it is in a washing machine or dryer in Pagosa Springs. Perhaps it is with my lost red lipstick and phone charger, feeling all lonely and abandoned. I miss all three items terribly. If found, please return to owner.--       

When your life is one big faux pas, the rules of fashion cease to apply.

So jealous of the snow at home. The only thing in the air here in Memphis is sketchiness.

Of all the beverages you could bring to a random girl in a bar, you choose bud diesel? Imma drink it, but i'm just sayin

Justin told me not to take a picture of this picture. I'm a bad listener.

My very first time in Arkansas! Your Huddle House's are quite nice. 

February 1
White Elephant Saloon
Fort Worth, Texas

Up until this tour, I had never traveled west (with the exception of a trip to California, but I flew there so I hadn't actually been to the states in between). After the Memphis show, we drove into Arkansas and stayed the night and then got up the next morning and made the long trek to Texas. I have wanted to go to Texas for so, so long and I could not have been more excited to finally be there.

I like to capture pictures of strange things in public restrooms. I know, I know. Weird. But I tell you what's more weird: this Taco Bell bathroom setup. No door on these stalls --does this even count as a stall??

See that one square foot of open seat? That's what Kelli's cave was reduced to on this trip. And y'all think I'm living in luxury.

What do cool, grown up merch girls do when they have 7 hour van rides? That I do not know. What do I do? Color in my 3d toy story coloring book. (Thanks again for it, Dayna!)

Every gas station, restaurant we walk in: "Are y'all a band?" What gave it away? Hair? Beards? General homeless-look? Better question: what do these places think my role is with this motley crew? #lookslikeagroupie

Kelli Ann is not impressed with a 7 hour trip in the van today. Also I'm so bored already and we've been in here 10mins. It's gonna be a lonnnggggg day.

Another bathroom, another picture.

I'm already in love with Texas and I haven't even gotten out of the van.

Next time I'm asked to list my best qualities, the top one will be "Able to do my hair and makeup in the back seat of a van using only a tiny mirror"

No sir, I cannot trade you a pirate eye patch for a koozie.

Such a cool bar! It was like Nashville's Broadway but in Texas

I was absolutely mesmerized by the dancing! I could watch people two step all day long.

Spreading the good word.

Use my phone charger? Sure. Cost ya one bud light. #merchgirlprobs

Picture in a cowboy hat. Check this off the Texas bucket list.

The sun made me so happy! It was ridiculously warm. So, I took 95 million pictures so that I could remember this when I returned back to the arctic that is Kentucky.

I'm moving here. It is settled.

So Kentucky, how's that snow treating you? I'm thinking of ya as I'm just laying in the sun in Texas :)

February 2
Oklahoma City Limits
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Sadly, my stay in Texas only lasted on night, not nearly enough for my sun-loving little soul. We traveled on to Oklahoma to a bar that reminded me very much one in Lexington with a similar name.

The tip hat. Easily the best idea ever.

"You're pretty as shit" Umm..thanks I think? #merchgirlprobs

I'd like to note that the man who told me the above statement went from giving me that beautiful compliment to such an extreme level of intoxication that he had to be carried out of the bar. So i'm sure his judgement of my level of attractiveness was in no way skewed by alcohol.

It's Fifth with a F(and then the rest of the letters that make up the word Fifth)

"Have you ever stuck a cats head in your mouth?" I can't's too early for this. The things I overhear people say in bars....

You have a camera in your bathroom? This shall be a pleasant showering experience, I'm sure.

Fifth on the Floor, Rock Band.

"So which one are you dating?" If I had a dollar for every time I heard this And answered none of them I'd be much richer than I am now.

February 3
Tulsa, Oklahoma

I'm not even going to pretend like every single day out on the road is fun and easy. Because it is not. Not at all. By the time we made it to Tulsa, I was breaking down a little bit. We'd been out less than a week, but I was missing home. My friends were all having Super Bowl parties, hanging out and eating good food, while I was enjoying tasty hot dogs and plain chips alone in a dark bar. That's one of the worst parts of my job-- while the guys in the band get to wander around and hang out (sometimes in a green room if the bar has one) I am pretty much stuck at my merch table after I get it set up. And typically, until the band plays, people don't buy a lot of merch. This especially sucks in bigger bars where the load in time is early. Such was the case at the Vanguard. We had to get there early to set up before the Super Bowl started, so I had so much down time to just sit. Alone. At a bar. Where my only choice of food was crock pot hotdogs. All that, along with some personal Kelli issues led to a pretty hard day. But, thanks to a trip to Sonic, an order of mozzarella sticks and a diet cherry limeaide, my band brothers, and a nice guys who gave me lots of tips and attention, the night got much better :)  

Watching the game on a really big screen

You know how much I love the Jamey Johnson song in color? Well I love a local band cover of it even more. #sarcasm #merchgirlprobs


Dear sir, the hole in the back of your jeans makes it quite obvious that you have chosen to go commando tonight. Please, stop dancing

Can every person in Texas and Oklahoma two step? Like are you born knowing this?! #jealous

You know who loves bourbon? Owls, that's whooo

1 comment:

  1. Yup, we pretty much two-step right out of the womb. Glad you loved Texas! Know you know why I am so obsessed with it.