Tuesday, June 25, 2013

"Sorry, Kelli"

*Note: italicized statements included below are the first of what I'm sure will be many hilarious installments of "through the ears of Little Wing." They are some of the most share-worthy statements I overhear over the course of my day. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do*

Thursday, July 20
Nashville Dancin'
Riverfront Park
Nashville, Tennessee

New shirt that perfectly matches my new mantra-"Live big, dream bigger"

Also, I am looking for ideas on how to remember all the hotels i stay in-- and lord knows I stay in a crap ton of hotels lately. So far the best ideas I've gotten are stealing the keys (only to promptly throw them away when too many pile up) and taking selfies in the mirrow, which is neither fun nor original. Thoughts, children? 

I know I'm back to work when i crack open the first red bull at Soundcheck. I seriously never drink anything carbonated unless I'm on the road. But when I am, I'm addicted. Diet coke and sugar free red bull run through my veinsssssss. 

"That's the thing about the Jenny crank diet- it'll make you lose weight. Maybe a couple teeth. Might even shoot your neighbor."

The first show of this run was by the river in Nashville. It was such a cool thing for me to get to work a show at a place where I have been to shows. I came to a couple of BuzzFest shows in this exact same place, bought merch at the same place I was selling. Pretty damn cool. 

Working hard...on my tan and sweating off the pounds. 

"i loved you on the jersey shore"

Royal Southern Brotherhood. Great music. Great looking son of an Allman brother. Not that i noticed. 

Terrible pic, terrible view from the merch table. But great show. 

Friday, July 21
The Orange Peel
Asheville, North Carolina

This was my first time at The Orange Peel.  I'd been to Asheville with Fifth before, but we played at a smaller venue (and it was also sooooo painfully cold outside). This show was the exact opposite. Big venue and hot hot hot outside. 

Small things amuse me when I'm stuck all alonely at the merch table. This night, I was more than slightly amused when the Other Life movie froze...right on a Shooter crotch shot. Most of the audience had no clue what was going on and paid little attention, and likely found much less amusement than I did. But I giggled for a good five minutes til they got the computer fixed and the movie played past the junk scene. 

I have to say, this was one of my favorite shows I've seen the band play. They were just on and it kicked ass. It was only made better with the guest appearance of Buck. 

"If you drink that shit that comes out of the air condition, you get a little buzz."

Funny side note: it is one of my favorite ways of re-introducing myself to people by saying, "remember me, I slept in your house before!" Creeper level: 10. 

"Fiddler on the juice"

So it's a fairly well known fact that I have lived my life under a rock and have seen basically no movies. I can now check Fletch off my list. Sprinter movie bonding watch party. Good times. 

Saturday, July 22
Amos' Southland
Charlotte, North Carolina  

I despise sitting in the front seat of a Sprinter van. I constantly feel like I'm about to fall out on to the road. Fun times. 

"Spank bank. Do girls have those?"

Boredom. Reflections. Magic iPhone. Legs. Last time I wear a dress to sell merch as it inhibits my ability to climb on tables and such. 

"He was drunk as an Indian on bingo night"

Sunday, July 23
The Boathouse
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina 

New addiction: Loves fruit cups. Umm healthy. 

"What would happen if you threw a grenade in an open field? 
Nothing. But if you threw it into a crowded room you'd clear it quick"

And now we can check Neverending Story off my movies to see list. 

I went to myrtle beach and this was all I saw. No beach. No super moon. No show. Just the inside of a restaurant where they had to be having a Jersey Shore reunion. 

"All i know about hockey is that it's ice skating mad. With sticks."

New fun habit: only bringing one pair of shoes into the hotel, and those shoes in no way matching the next day's outfit. This was the second time in a week. But I will say the boots and yogas were a much more acceptable combo than the jean shorts and black 5in heels....

Ass gravy. Boob gravy. Any other sweaty body part + gravy. 

Pit stop in North Carolina. Knee deep in the river in the Smokey Mountains. 

Congrats, Hartford, you did it! Rafting capitol of Tennessee! 

"Sorry, Kelli" following every offensive statement. Can you imagine how many times I heard that one??

Thursday, June 13, 2013

To Texas again, Gypsy Woman

I always pee when I'm at Soundcheck, mostly just so I can see these awesome toilet seats. It's the little things, y'all. 

This bus was even nicer than the last one. It still makes my belly feel all fluttery when I think about it- I'm touring with a band on a bus?! I'm so, so blessed. 

Thursday, June 6
Thunder on the Mountain
Ozark, Arkansas 

Lineup and another laminate! 

I didn't have to sell merch for this festival, so I just followed tour manager Ryan around all day and learned more about the ten million things he does for every show. 

Not gonna lie, I kinda loved standing on the stage and looking important. I'm totally not, but all those people didnt know that. 

Sturgill Simpson on one of the other stages, rocking his Austin City shirt. 

Randy Houser on the main stage. 

Big and Rich, from back stage. Once again, I love being a pretend important person. Meeting cool band and crew guys, hanging out on other artist's busses (cough cough randy houser- not that I even really care about him, it's still kinda cool) and watching Game of Thrones and Napolean Dynamite, listening to bigger bands play and learning how this whole circus works on a bigger scale-- such am amazing, entertaining life. 

Friday, June 7
Brazos Nights
Waco, Texas 

This bus didnt have windows in the bunks- which, I'm not gonna lie, caused a few moments of crazy strong claustrophobia that almost caused me to puke, so I had to get up and go to the front or the back to see where we were each morning. Thankfully, we were parked right beside a sign that filled me in. 

The show was outside by the river, and was so beautiful. I've said it ten million times, but I'll say it again, I love Texas. 

So Holly Tucker or something (or something like that) sang (or something's me that) a few songs to start off the show, and then had meet and greet right afterwards....right beside the merch tent. So this is what I got to look at before Ryan saved the day.  The people start here....

And keep on going here...

And go all the way down past that van. And the line lastes for hoursssss. I don't get it but whatev. 

Jonathan Tyler and the Northern lights played before us, and I was so excited to see them. I'm a fan, and they def didnt disappoint. Plus I got to sell their merch so I got this sweet shirt! 

Love it times ten million. Thanks again! 
The super nice Waco Parks & Rec people gave us these shirts too. 

I get bored and was having a good hair day, so.... 

After the show we went to a bar to see Jason Boland play. It was legit the Texas bar of my dreams- two stepping to red dirt music--ahh, love. I told the boys they had to help me find a husband, but they talked me out of that and bought me drinks instead. Which worked. Plus, I realized I made myself look as unavailable and unapproachable as possible, surrounded by some combination of six guys at all times. Oh Texas husband, I will find you someday and we can two step off into the sunset. 

Jason Boland 

Saturday, June 8
Waylon Birthday Bash
Whiteface, Texas

We had to stop at WayneBo's-- the liquor store for people with speech impediments. 

It was right across the road from the party house. Specific type of party unknown. 

You know what I love? Hotels with mirrors I can see myself in as I pee. Thumbs up to you, holiday inn express levelland! 

Oil rig things (I don't know their actual title and am too lazy to google it at the moment. They were everywhereeeee. Like windmills in the midwest, only less terrifying. 
This was when I was 90% certain that my combo of red bull and 9000 degree heat inside the trailer I was selling merch from was going to lead to my untimely death. 
Drinking straight from the bag of wine.  God bless Texas. 
People, people everywhere. Real sweet people. Though i was a bit weary at first. Especially when right before I get off the bus I'm told, with an evil laugh, "they're gonna love you here!" 

I'd been wanting a Waylon shirt for a while, and I finally got one there! 

The lineup. 

So, i got to see my first wedding at a shooter show that night. Right there on front of the stage, officiated by the mayor of Whiteface. 

Let me just say- Texas is just as redneck as Kentucky. And I love it. 
Another badge to add to my collection! 
Not sure why this still makes me excited. But it does, so picture. 

The view from my merch trailer. 

I went out into the crowd to take this, and sold a shirt to a guy complaining they cost too much by saying I'd deliver it  to his seat. Boom. I win. 

Whey Jennings singing "Outlaw Shit" with the band. 

After the show we drove all night and all the next day to get back to Nashville. That night Little Wing got an intro to Jazz by Anti-Ringo and Johnny, who also needs a nickname. It was the most I've laughed in a long time. (And I'll never look at cheese crackers the same.) So much fun. I'm so lucky to not only once but twice to have found bands of genuinely great guys to work with. I already feel like I have seven new big brothers and I love them to death. People always are shocked that I'm the lone girl with a bus full of guys, but I love it. I am so, so lucky to be living a life I've dreamed of for so long. 

The next day, on the way home, we watched Django on the bus. I was simultaneously horrified and amazed. I recommend it. 

Until the bus leaves again, xoxo