Tuesday, June 25, 2013

"Sorry, Kelli"

*Note: italicized statements included below are the first of what I'm sure will be many hilarious installments of "through the ears of Little Wing." They are some of the most share-worthy statements I overhear over the course of my day. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do*

Thursday, July 20
Nashville Dancin'
Riverfront Park
Nashville, Tennessee

New shirt that perfectly matches my new mantra-"Live big, dream bigger"

Also, I am looking for ideas on how to remember all the hotels i stay in-- and lord knows I stay in a crap ton of hotels lately. So far the best ideas I've gotten are stealing the keys (only to promptly throw them away when too many pile up) and taking selfies in the mirrow, which is neither fun nor original. Thoughts, children? 

I know I'm back to work when i crack open the first red bull at Soundcheck. I seriously never drink anything carbonated unless I'm on the road. But when I am, I'm addicted. Diet coke and sugar free red bull run through my veinsssssss. 

"That's the thing about the Jenny crank diet- it'll make you lose weight. Maybe a couple teeth. Might even shoot your neighbor."

The first show of this run was by the river in Nashville. It was such a cool thing for me to get to work a show at a place where I have been to shows. I came to a couple of BuzzFest shows in this exact same place, bought merch at the same place I was selling. Pretty damn cool. 

Working hard...on my tan and sweating off the pounds. 

"i loved you on the jersey shore"

Royal Southern Brotherhood. Great music. Great looking son of an Allman brother. Not that i noticed. 

Terrible pic, terrible view from the merch table. But great show. 

Friday, July 21
The Orange Peel
Asheville, North Carolina

This was my first time at The Orange Peel.  I'd been to Asheville with Fifth before, but we played at a smaller venue (and it was also sooooo painfully cold outside). This show was the exact opposite. Big venue and hot hot hot outside. 

Small things amuse me when I'm stuck all alonely at the merch table. This night, I was more than slightly amused when the Other Life movie froze...right on a Shooter crotch shot. Most of the audience had no clue what was going on and paid little attention, and likely found much less amusement than I did. But I giggled for a good five minutes til they got the computer fixed and the movie played past the junk scene. 

I have to say, this was one of my favorite shows I've seen the band play. They were just on and it kicked ass. It was only made better with the guest appearance of Buck. 

"If you drink that shit that comes out of the air condition, you get a little buzz."

Funny side note: it is one of my favorite ways of re-introducing myself to people by saying, "remember me, I slept in your house before!" Creeper level: 10. 

"Fiddler on the juice"

So it's a fairly well known fact that I have lived my life under a rock and have seen basically no movies. I can now check Fletch off my list. Sprinter movie bonding watch party. Good times. 

Saturday, July 22
Amos' Southland
Charlotte, North Carolina  

I despise sitting in the front seat of a Sprinter van. I constantly feel like I'm about to fall out on to the road. Fun times. 

"Spank bank. Do girls have those?"

Boredom. Reflections. Magic iPhone. Legs. Last time I wear a dress to sell merch as it inhibits my ability to climb on tables and such. 

"He was drunk as an Indian on bingo night"

Sunday, July 23
The Boathouse
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina 

New addiction: Loves fruit cups. Umm healthy. 

"What would happen if you threw a grenade in an open field? 
Nothing. But if you threw it into a crowded room you'd clear it quick"

And now we can check Neverending Story off my movies to see list. 

I went to myrtle beach and this was all I saw. No beach. No super moon. No show. Just the inside of a restaurant where they had to be having a Jersey Shore reunion. 

"All i know about hockey is that it's ice skating mad. With sticks."

New fun habit: only bringing one pair of shoes into the hotel, and those shoes in no way matching the next day's outfit. This was the second time in a week. But I will say the boots and yogas were a much more acceptable combo than the jean shorts and black 5in heels....

Ass gravy. Boob gravy. Any other sweaty body part + gravy. 

Pit stop in North Carolina. Knee deep in the river in the Smokey Mountains. 

Congrats, Hartford, you did it! Rafting capitol of Tennessee! 

"Sorry, Kelli" following every offensive statement. Can you imagine how many times I heard that one??

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