Saturday, November 10, 2012

"waiting for my last synapse to fry"

I'm still a transportationlesss caged bird in this apartment. Lucky for you, I decided to capture my mental breakdown in a sort of stream of consciousness ramble. One day when my literary genius is finally celebrated, they will look back on this post and say, "Yes, yes this is the point where she completely f'ing lost it." Enjoy.

  •  The title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with what this is actually about, but it is stuck--no completely engrained-- in my head and I can't get it out. It's Hellbound Glory, and it's not even on an album or anything, but I recorded it on my phone one night when they were playing and I am so glad I did because I have probably listened to it a hundred times since. I wish I could share it with ya, but Leroy asked me not to yet, so just know as soon as I can I will, and the words "Cocaine, Kurt Cobain" will be just as stuck in your head too.

  •  "Nutshell" is the greatest song in the history of ever, especially the Unplugged version. If you disagree, then I hate you and your shit taste in music. 
  • If I had monies, I would get a new tattoo. Just fyi. It would be a feather, and I would really like to incorporate the words "if i can't be my own," which is part of a line from "Nutshell." Would that be weird to have just part of the line, like an unfinished sentence? I know it would be a little weird, but I kind of like it that way.  
  • I'm just kidding about hating you if you don't like "Nutshell." I just pity you instead.
  • One might easily be lead to believe that the altered state of my mind that is writing this post is drunk, but it's actually just really, really hungry. The two are easily confused.  
  • Speaking of hungry, this new found "broke as a very unfunny joke" state of my life makes me really regret dates I have turned down due to my fear of commitment. Dinner and human contact would be heavenly right about now. Ah, hindsight...and steak. I haven't eaten meat all week other than eggs. Need. Steak. And diet coke. I may actually need that more than I need steak.
  • I had a fear this morning that I was going to be one of those people that die alone in their apartments and aren't found for days. Bright side of this happening to me: I don't have a cat right now that would eat me, so that's nice. 
  • If you are still reading this, I'm questioning your sanity as much as I'm questioning mine. Which is no question. Y'all this is madness, go read a book or talk to other humans instead. Or eat steak and think of me!
  • That Victoria knows what she's doing. I'm not really sure why I haven't worn this new bra more.
  •  This morning in an attempt to emerge from the darkness of this apartment, I ran. A lot. I went all Forrest Gump and just kept running. This was a terrible idea, as I am old and so out of shape. My legs hurt real bad, like I really need to pee but the thought of hobbling to the bathroom is too painful, so I'm just holding it and drinking more water instead. But I feel skinnier than I did before I ran (and then didn't eat all day.) Someone come see how skinny I look! I'm just kidding, I don't actually look any skinnier. But it was a nice thought. Wouldn't it be awesome if it worked that way? Like you could just run a lot and instantly look skinnier?
  • Is the fact that I can relate anything in life to Honey Boo Boo sad? Don't answer that.
  • And I wonder how I am still single.....

No comments:

Post a Comment